Sunday, January 31, 2016

So Sad

My birthday month just ended 11 minutes ago. Its February already. How time flies. 

Its been 6 months of knowing him. Tapi malam ni, malam yang paling sedih sepanjang kami kenal. Maybe bukan untuk dia, but for me. 

Selalu cakap kat diri sendiri, "jangan berharap, jangan berharap" tapi, hati perempuan, cepat sangat tersentuh kalau ada orang baik dengan dia. Lagi lagi kalau diberi harapan. Lagi lah kita berharap.

The way he treat me, the way our conversation goes. My heart melts everytime. What do I have to do :(

Tapi, tadi he said he want to share a story. A story yang I dont aspect to hear, and I wish it is not happening too. "Arranged Marriage". He said, his heart stop after hearing it, so do I. He said he is speechless, so do I. He said he is not ready, so do I. 

My heart dont even stops, but it hurts so bad. Im speechless and just pretend to be supportive. I am so not ready, yes I am, I not ready to leave you.

All the smiley faces that I gave was actually tears in reality. How am I going to face this. I should have avoid you since the beginning. Yes, there goes my tears again, pouring down my cheeks. I hope my face wont looked that swollen tomorrow.

Now I have to treat you as a friend. Not more. Its hard what can I do. I wanted to avoid, but I dont want you to go through this alone. At least I can make you smile just for a while. While I have the time. Nasib awak text, kalau awak call, you'll definitely listening to my awkward voice which end up with tears. Ada hikmah rupanya.

Yes now I realized, you seem that you're close, but you're actually so far away. so far away that finally I can't even see you. Yet, I'm so thankful that I've met you. walaupun sekejap. terima kasih.

So, I think, after this I shouldn't waste my life for one moment of eye contact or a heartbeat.  Focus in my own life. Jangan beria nak berharap sesuatu yang samar-samar. Ada jodoh, sampai waktu, ada lah :)

Thats all for now, bukan nak jiwang, cuma luahan hati taktau nak luah dekat siapa. 

Lotsa Amor,

Friday, January 1, 2016

Twenty Sixteen #2K16

Hello! Its twenty sixteen guys, a brand new year for us! 

Out with the old and in with the new. But never forget the memories. :D

Well, since its new year, I can definitely tell that new year's resolution would be the main thingy here.
To be honest, me myself still trying to figure out what is my new year's resolution or resolutions.
There are loads of thing playing around in my mind, but to make it a resolution? I'm not that sure, cuz guys I dont have the kind of confidence. HAHA. 

Look, for me, having a resolution is like making a promise with yourself and if you didnt manage to achieve, you will some sort of betraying your own self. LOL pretty lame. 

But, actually resolution is a good thing tho. I think, we can do it like every time, maybe making a birthday's resolution, or holiday's resolution? its like building up that determination to achieve something but to achieve or not to achieve are depending on you. 

And that's totally the reason why I don't really care about making or having a resolution every year. Cuz I dont want to be that tense and just live a good life, carpe diem "hahh, gittew uols" HAHA. Do what can be done, achieve what can I possibly achieved during that particular time and perfect what can be perfected "oh way I sounds like the harray po'tah".

Well, for the time being, some of my figured resolutions would be:

1. Gettin my masters research done this year. Not entirely cuz its impossible haha, basically on lab work. Yeah, Imma total lab nerd. NERD ALERT! 

2. Since I'm gettin older year by year, so this year, I have this determination to stay healthy. HAHA can't believe I just said that. But, I felt really sorry for my body sometimes, cause I'll always eat what I wanted. So, yeah I think I must do something good so that in the end I will not feel sorry. huhu

3. I want to be beautiful. LOL this is just freakin crazy and lame resolution but I'll just put it in the list. HAHAHAHA

So, enough with my blabbing and I guess that is just about it guys. I'll write more next time.
Till the next blog.

Lots of Amore,